who are your "yes" people?

I can't actually remember who gave me the term " 'yes' people ", but I probably read it in some self-help book and have ever since noticed that in my life, there are " 'yes' people" and " 'no' people", and that in our lives, we need to have both kinds .

" 'Yes' people " are people who, when you share your ideas, opinions, dreams and complaints, understand your point. They may not personally agree with what you have shared, but they make you feel validated for having these thoughts. If you approach a " 'yes' person", you will undoubtedly walk away from your conversation with energy and confidence that you have every right to have the thoughts you are having if you doubted yourself before. This is a person that you crave talking to when you have something--happy or sad-- to share. This person serves as a cheerleader or a connector, but this is also a person who can gently call you on being overly-something (in my case, overly-emotional or overly-worry-wartish; in other cases, perhaps overly difficult or flighty). This person is a special kind of friend, or a colleague or family member, that you interact with and leaves you with good gut feelings.

For instance, your " 'yes' person" might say ""Your idea is awesome-- you could totally do that-- I LOVE IT! Keep me posted!". Or, "I think this is a bit like when Loulou ..x... and what ended up working for her was ..y....". Your " ' yes' person" may also say things like "It really sucks that Bingo made that comment to you, but you have to remember that Bingo is like that, and he's probably already forgotten that he said it and pissing someone else off now as we speak. Do we need to have a cup of tea, or a glass of wine?".

Otherwise said, she or he has the patience of Job dealing with you, but also cuts you off when you have had too many sips out of the self-doubt blues bottle. S/he can take your half-empty glass and fill it right up.

I am noticing lately that my piece of the world is also full of naysayers, and unfortunately, some of the worst culprits can be the people who care about us the most. Julia Cameron, author of "The Artist's Way", writes about people called our crazymakers. She speaks of the people that, when you meet them with any sort of positive feelings, they'll replace them with feelings of wanting to crawl back in bed, keep your mouth shut or scream. They, in contrast to your " 'yes' people", take your half-empty glass, knock it over and smash it to smithereens.

I think the world needs these people, too. Perhaps they keep order in the world and balance out over-dreamers who need a reality check. Their participation in our lives educates us on how to be compassionate, rise against adverse times, deal with difficult neighbours or be kind to our parents when they push our buttons. We need them-- but in a world where optimism keeps us healthy, we must really avoid surrounding ourselves with them, particular in blue or doubtful times.

Salad Girl's tip of the post:
Make your mental list of, or journal about, your " 'yes' people". In some way, thank them for their contribution to your life in words or by being that person right back to them.